Maybe the owner just turned up the AC a bit too much?

Guess I will have to let the defrost run a little longer this morning

Looks like it's going to get a hard freez!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Ice cream cone any one!:p

LOL these jokes are great

Was that actually for real Tigger?.:D

Have no idea but its funny

If women are so good at multitasking, why can't they have sex and a headache at the same time?

Just saying.....LOL

Who says they can't Raymond!, trust me they can.:D

A business man got on an elevator.

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a
bright,
"T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied,
"S-H-I-T."

She looked puzzled and repeated,
"T-G-I-F," more slowly.

He again answered,
"S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile,
and said as sweetly as possibly,
"T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back to her and once again,
"S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.

'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"

The man answered,
"'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'-- duuhhh.

:D

I liked that one Whyyou!

Good one Whyyou:)

Bugatti on The Tonight Show - LMAO!!!
 

It's no longer available! What gives?

Seriously, in what way was it funny? Is it something they said about the car? :confused:

Damn Youtube strikes again with their takedown copyright infringements rules.:(

Had to share this one from a friend via an email.:D:D


To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person.

I no my spelling is not too good.

My salerery is open, I kin start emeditely.

Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser. Sinseerly,
Tiffanny

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short

I sent a pickture of me.








Attachment 564

Employer's response:...
Dear Tiffany,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

See you Monday.

Funny..& probably true:D

A friend of mine sent me this..I think its a "sound" idea:):)

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Liver and Cheese
 

LIVER & CHEESE

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a
beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one
to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same
time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves
and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she
decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words
'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence
can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love
liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or
intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can
you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb
as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you,
little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is
the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the
Lab and says....



Liver alone. Cheese mine

Science Beer Break-through.
 

You have to hope that this study is flawed but the evidence seems irrefutable. Several months ago, scientists at Europe's human reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption.

4 The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were each fed six pints of beer in a one-hour period.

It was then observed that 100 percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn't perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

(OOHHH i'm gonna get it for this one!:D)

Joke LoL
 

What Did the Hurricane say to the Palm Tree ???
Hang On To Your Coconut's This is No Ordinary Blow Job !!! :eek:

Your day is comming!!!!!!!!!!

couldent help my self im realy going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:eek:

Why It Is Better To Have A dog Than A Wife

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff

10 Signs That You Might Be An Idiot
 

10 Signs That You Might Be An Idiot

1. You type ‘there’ when you mean ‘their’.
2. You press the already lit elevator button.
3. You get two pizzas, both half cheese and half pepperoni.
4. You get confused by the Starbucks cup sizes.
5. You think that cats are smart because they are aloof.
6. You are a self-professed vegetarian who eats fish.
7. You have a nervous breakdown when asked to not use the word ‘like’ so often.
8. You send out your resume on cute stationery.
9. You think you are saving money by buying things you don’t need during a sale.
10. You blame all your failures on anyone but yourself.

The pizza comment is classic. haha

The Senior Center
 

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you all into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. The polished metal gleamed in the light.

Claude the hypnotist said: 'I want you each to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.'

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,'Watch the watch...watch the watch...watch the watch.'

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light shimmering off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

'****!' exclaimed the hypnotist.

It took 3 days to clean up the Senior Center.

The Pastor
 

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a
Coupla blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."

The Polite Way To Pee
 

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say, Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

The teacher fainted.

Same Sex marriage
 

Fred and Larry got married in California

They couldn't afford a honeymoon so, they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Larry are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'

He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...... I gave him my airplane glue.'

Good one's whyyou...:)

Great jokes WhyYou! Love them.

Wherever you got them joke WhyYou, find some more.:D

Foreigners
 

" I'm always amused by foreigners who don't speak the language very well," a man said to his friend."The other day a Chinese hooker who wanted to applaud me for my sexual performance told me,' I give you clap.' "

Love em WhyYou!!!!!!!!

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota,
I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face ...
Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, “Now, back off or I'll kick the hell out of all of you!”

St Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple minutes ago......”

LOL.. I am a biker that has been though the black hills too.

Good one Geezer!

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the
headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg,
looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I
guess we finally answered "THAT question!"