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-   -   Jokes (http://danielleftv.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7)

WhyYou 05-14-2009 10:25 PM

I received this video in an email from a friend. I don't have any idea how this guy did this but it looks real. The only way I know of that this could happen is if the guy defied the laws of physics.



http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w...oughWindow.jpg

CK1 05-14-2009 11:40 PM

that is Magician/Illusionist Criss Angel. this is part of the first season of MindFreak his show on A&E. towards the second season he started getting a huge ego. still performed great stunts/illusions but would spend too much time saying how great he is, awards he won, etc... i mean he was thanking his fans but by pointing out everything he did... i got tired of it.

captnjack 05-15-2009 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11477)
I didn't know cars could do the Blue Danube lol. Can you count the cars that get damaged?.:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3souxFjWgLk

Reminds me of some of the local drives here when it snows.

captnjack 05-15-2009 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CK1 (Post 11481)
that is Magician/Illusionist Criss Angel. this is part of the first season of MindFreak his show on A&E. towards the second season he started getting a huge ego. still performed great stunts/illusions but would spend too much time saying how great he is, awards he won, etc... i mean he was thanking his fans but by pointing out everything he did... i got tired of it.

I believe your right CK1. He did some amazing illusions alright but I never liked his personality either. I haven't a clue how he did the illusion but there is a reason he covered the window with the paper which just happened to be in the dumpster.

mart 05-15-2009 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhyYou (Post 11479)
I received this video in an email from a friend. I don't have any idea how this guy did this but it looks real. The only way I know of that this could happen is if the guy defied the laws of physics.



http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w...oughWindow.jpg


I was very disappointed, i was expecting him to actually come through the window fully. Not just a finger lol. Why did he take his shoe off? and why do all magicians or illusionist always cover up what their about to go through or make disappear? lol.:D

WhyYou 05-15-2009 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11488)
I was very disappointed, i was expecting him to actually come through the window fully. Not just a finger lol. Why did he take his shoe off? and why do all magicians or illusionist always cover up what their about to go through or make disappear? lol.:D

The video must have ended too early. Try watching it again. He does come all the way through the window and stands up on the outside. He probably took his shoes off to cover what his accomplice was doing (I assume the guy inside the building with him was his secret accomplice).

mart 05-15-2009 04:33 PM

I couldn't get the Criss Angel's "walk through window" video to play fully on Photobucket, so i found it on Youtube. Along with many other illusions like this link. Where he makes a Lamborgini disappear. It's a bit long but he does it eventually lol. Check the related videos box on the right he's done quite a few amazing illusions. Like pulling a woman in half, walking on water and so on. All tricky but clever.:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8eD3AmxyAI

mart 05-16-2009 05:21 PM

Just found this great picture of a girl with a nice big pair of jugs, just awesome.;)

http://www.mediafire.com/imageview.p...ymneyk&thumb=5

mart 05-16-2009 06:38 PM

This woman really does have a nice *****.;)

http://www.mediafire.com/imageview.p...cdzmgw&thumb=5

captnjack 05-16-2009 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11552)
Just found this great picture of a girl with a nice big pair of jugs, just awesome.;)

http://www.mediafire.com/imageview.p...ymneyk&thumb=5


Wow that is pair of big jugs alright!

MISSY 05-21-2009 08:52 PM

Math teacher asked Sally what comes after 69? Sally replied thats easy, you wash your face and brush your teeth!:eek:

mart 05-22-2009 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MISSY (Post 11703)
Math teacher asked Sally what comes after 69? Sally replied thats easy, you wash your face and brush your teeth!:eek:

MISSY!!!:eek: i'm shocked you could know such a joke.:D
Nice one MIssy! i've never heard that before.:D

tigger 05-22-2009 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11709)
missy!!!:eek: I'm shocked you could know such a joke.:d
nice one missy! I've never heard that before.:d

that is one of the clean ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:d

mart 05-22-2009 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigger (Post 11710)
that is one of the clean ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:d

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

MISSY 05-22-2009 12:58 PM

I'm a notty girl! :D

ugo 05-22-2009 06:12 PM

Umm....Missy.
You made me blush.:p

mart 05-22-2009 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MISSY (Post 11747)
I'm a notty girl! :D

I blame the company you keep.:D;)

MISSY 05-22-2009 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11761)
I blame the company you keep.:D;)

I can except that! :D

mart 05-23-2009 07:09 PM

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?".:D

mart 05-23-2009 07:11 PM

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”:D

laranger 05-23-2009 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11823)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?".:D

That made coffee shoot out of my nose, damnit, need a new keyboard now.

MISSY 05-23-2009 07:31 PM

FUNNY,AND FUNNY Mart!!!!!!!!:D

mart 05-23-2009 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laranger (Post 11827)
That made coffee shoot out of my nose, damnit, need a new keyboard now.

Sorry Laranger, how about this one, mind the keyboard though lol.:D

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your a$$.":D

Or this one?.

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on
his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''

''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said,
''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ‘‘nice horse you got there sir,
did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put
the dick underneath the horse instead of on top.'':D

captnjack 05-24-2009 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11823)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?".:D

Now that is a good one Mart. I can't wait to tell it to my buddy who likes to hunt.

ugo 05-24-2009 08:50 AM

Try to draw! Then do what you want from "animate."
You'll be surprised. Including me.:p

http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/draw_your_own_cartoon

mart 05-24-2009 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ugo (Post 11867)
Try to draw! Then do what you want from "animate."
You'll be surprised. Including me.:p

http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/draw_your_own_cartoon

Silly, but fun thanks Ugo.:D

ugo 05-24-2009 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11872)
Silly, but fun thanks Ugo.:D

Indeed Mart.
Very crazy.:D

mart 05-24-2009 10:18 AM

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.:D

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!.:D

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.
She did this five more times, and her neighbour that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."
The blonde answered, "No, i'm working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail.:D

Apologies to all blondes, they are only jokes, unfounded, problably.:D

MISSY 05-24-2009 05:46 PM

1 Attachment(s)
A class after a field trip to a local farm!

mart 05-24-2009 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MISSY (Post 11890)
A class after a field trip to a local farm!

Nice one MISSY!.:D

WhyYou 05-25-2009 08:41 PM

1 Attachment(s)
'Nuff said...lol! :D

mart 05-25-2009 09:18 PM

Like the pic WhyYou lol, teach em while their young.:D

tigger 05-26-2009 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart (Post 11761)
I blame the company you keep.:D;)

hey i resemble that! :D

tigger 05-26-2009 02:48 PM

GREAT jokes guys.

mart 05-26-2009 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigger (Post 12008)
hey i resemble that! :D

Exactly!!!.:D:D:D

MISSY 05-29-2009 09:28 PM

Girls at the local highschool were putting on there lipstick and kissing the mirror in the bathroom, the cleaning guy was getting vary upset about this and told the princible about it and the princible called all the girls and told them that this would not be tolerated any more! the next day there was twice as maney kiss marks on the mirror. the cleaning guy was fureous. and went right to the office to report it. the princible gathered all the young ladies in the restroom and wanted them to watch and see how hard it was for the cleaning guy to get it off the mirror. She summond the cleaning guy and he arived in the ladies room and had his spray and a rag and set the spray on the counter and went to the potty and diped his rag into it and rung it out and went over and begane to scrub the mirror, from that day forth no kiss marks were found on the mirror! :D

geolarson2 05-30-2009 06:50 AM

I'm not 100% sure this is the thread for this, but it got a laugh out of me, so what the hey.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article....&in_page_id=34

mart 05-30-2009 10:01 AM

MISSY! that has got to be my favourite joke so far.:D

Must have been a strange world back then Geolarson2 lol.:D

WhyYou 05-30-2009 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geolarson2 (Post 12226)
I'm not 100% sure this is the thread for this, but it got a laugh out of me, so what the hey.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article....&in_page_id=34

Not a typical type of joke, but funny none the less! :)

mart 05-30-2009 08:40 PM

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.
A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car

Where do you get virgin wool from?
An Ugly sheep.

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!:eek:

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's a hindu?
Lays eggs


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