Max,
Just my 2 cents. I went through some rough times when I was younger and had to work thorough quite a few issues before I found a loving relationship. It all comes down to the fact that you have to be comfortable with yourself and who you are before you should get involved in a relationship. Until you yourself are healthy, you will attract and be attracted to women who will meet the negative expectations that you have set-up. Not to get too Freud on you, but most likely a lot of this is due to unresolved issues that happened in your childhood. I am saying this from experience, I think you should strongly consider seeing a counselor. Don't wait until you you can say "I should have done this or that". If you want to be a martyr .... fine, keep doing what you are doing and enjoy it. Otherwise TAKE ACTION.
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