Quote:
Originally Posted by 100% AGAVE
Max,
Just my 2 cents. I went through some rough times when I was younger and had to work thorough quite a few issues before I found a loving relationship. It all comes down to the fact that you have to be comfortable with yourself and who you are before you should get involved in a relationship. Until you yourself are healthy, you will attract and be attracted to women who will meet the negative expectations that you have set-up. Not to get too Freud on you, but most likely a lot of this is due to unresolved issues that happened in your childhood. I am saying this from experience, I think you should strongly consider seeing a counselor. Don't wait until you you can say "I should have done this or that". If you want to be a martyr .... fine, keep doing what you are doing and enjoy it. Otherwise TAKE ACTION.
|
From personal experience and stories from both friends, and even stories my mother has told me, who has been married to my father for 28 years, several women will do anything to get married, like guys will do anything to get laid. My mother taught me that it is important for men to watch out for that kind of woman, and realize that it is worse to be married to the wrong person than it is to be single, which I can't agree with more. It seems like many women I have met would disagree with this statement, which makes no sense, and I would want to run as far away from them as possible. I knew one girl who I had a strong belief that had a crush on me in high school, that when I saw her for her looks the first time, I thought she was very attractive, and maybe I would like to get to know her better, however, I later discovered that she had a serious drug problem, and I know that she has done heroin as well as crack. I think that both my parents believe marriage is a good thing if it is done with the right person, but if a woman like that were to marry me, both of my parents and I agree the best thing to do is run, run as fast as you can. The only aspect of marriage that I am really against is the legal aspect of it, which believes that a 35 year old woman is as dependant on a man as his 8 year old son. She can get a job, and she doesn't need alimony payments. An unsigned contract can't be broken, so don't sign it. It's fine to have a wedding, a diamond ring is not everything, my mother never had one, but if she wants one, it's fine to get her one, just say in advance, that you won't sign the legal contract, and if she is against a prenuptuial agreement, RUN! It is a safety catch, not a matter of distrust, and that is clearly a signal that she just wants your money. If the marriage will work, than it shouldn't really matter, and saying that this will be used should just be a filter that weeds out the ones who want your money. I'm just saying to be careful with your money in marriage. Even though gay marriage has not been fully legalized, if I were gay, I would still take the same precautions. Half of your stuff is a lot, and alimony really will rape your finances. The reason that I am cautioning men more is because we are the ones who always get the shaft of the stick in divorce court.