[STAR]

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
-- Jay Leno

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
-- Erich Segal

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
-- Garry Shandling

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin


Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx


Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger


Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford

It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.
-- Joan Rivers


You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll


Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen


I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor


A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy


To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness -- I hope you're getting this down.
-- Woody Allen