*** Danielle's Journal ***

[danielle_ftv]

Apr. 19, 2009
I just took this really interesting quiz online. It said that I am a "negotiator" personality type with "explorer" being my secondary personality type. I thought it was very interesting because at the bottom they had words that "negotiators" unconsciously use to describe themselves including empathetic, reader, passionate, and real which are all words that I've used to describe myself. This is what it said about me relating to others:

"You dislike conflict. You seek "win-win" solutions. You are good at sharing power and ideas. And you are a master at the art of intimacy-building deep and exciting relationships with others. Nevertheless, you often enjoy solitude or intense interactions with just one individual or a few close friends. And you particularly enjoy people who like to play with abstract theories and ideas, provide insights, search for symbolic meanings in life and relationships and have a broad interest in the world."

I definitely do dislike conflict. And I am really good at sharing ideas and power. That is 100% me.

This is what they said about my personality type in general:

"You see the big picture. You easily take the broad, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy ideas.

You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people's faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you often intuitively understand what people want and need.

You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you are inclined to make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend and colleague. And you are idealistic and altruistic; you like to work to improve the world.

And you have an adventurous side; you enjoy new ideas and novel experiences and you want to share these with an enthusiastic partner. But you are particularly fond of people who are direct, decisive, focused and tough-minded, people who complement your more flexible, agreeable and affable style."

I do think I am a pretty compassionate person (sometimes to the point where it gets me in trouble.) Not so sure about the "socially savvy" part. I'm a great listener but I don't think I'm all that great of a "talker".


10:05 PM
OMG...OMG...OMG. I just found a site that looks identical to mine...how funny. I guess people like my website design. And guess who's site it is......Renna of FTV. LOLOLOLOL. Freaking awesome!

[danielle_ftv]

Apr. 23, 2009
Freaking Model Mayhem! YOU SUCK! Freaking conformists (raging and ranting here). Somebody made a fuss about my portfolio on Model Mayhem (a modeling portfolio/networking site) and low and behold I get removed. What really gets me though is that they listed a bunch of things they wanted taken off my profile and it included.....the "Middle Men" movie that I was an extra in. Since when does a mainstream movie count as anything ADULT. Motherf@ckers. I am so freaking mad. I put so much effort into that darn profile and they didn't even give me the chance to take down what "offended" them. Stupid Puritans...you wouldn't have to deal with this crap anywhere else in the world.

Other than that I'm doing great. Celtic Woman tonight...whoo-hoo. Plus I have an event filled weekend (I think...my friends need to get back to me on that.) I guess my friends and I will be going to a rave on Friday night, then Saturday we will be having a bbq (that's if we get enough sleep.) Next week I have a test in Geology lab. I think I should do well enough on it.

[danielle_ftv]

Apr. 30, 2009
Hey everyone...I changed the webcam show from this Sunday to Monday at 3 PM and changed the webcam show on May 15th to 3 PM too because I'm supposed to go to a birthday dinner for my step dad to be.

So I finally put in my two months vacancy notice for my apartment. Now I just have to figure out exactly what it is that I'm going to do about my living situation. I would really like to have room mates since I've never really had room mates before. Today was my Geology lab final so now I am completely done with that class...yeah! I just checked my grades online and it looks like I made a B in that class. That's good but I would rather it have been an A (looks better for med school admission.) Last weekend was a lot of fun. I ended up going to my first desert rave. It was way out in the freaking desert (like 45 minutes away) and we ended up getting lost like three times. It was so funny too because at about two in the morning the rave ended up getting busted by the cops. Everybody was freaking out, running to their cars and driving like maniacs (not that it really would have helped at all since there was only one way out.) My friends threw a bbq on Saturday, which was nice...gave us some time to relax...though I ended up drinking way too much and passed out really early. Sunday we went to Lake Pleasant and rode around on a friend's boat. The guy who owned it ended up getting plastered and was throwing up the whole ride back. This weekend should be interesting too. My friends and I are all doing the lake thing again on Sunday. The rest of the weekend we will probably end up relaxing (I hope.)

[danielle_ftv]

May 13, 2009
So school is finally done...yippee! Now I can finally start making those appointments I've been putting off for the past few months (dentist, tattoo removal, eye check up, etc.) Lately I've gotten a few requests for personal videos. Unfortunately I'm not able to do personal videos/photosets because FTVRob (the photographer/videographer) is too busy to do shooting for anything other than the sites. Of course I can always use the small camera and shoot it myself but it won't be as high quality and won't have the angles that a professional shoot would have. Also I've been getting requests for autographed pictures which I would be perfectly happy to do. Just send me the photo you want autographed, what you want me to put on it, and a postmarked envelope with the address you want it sent to. I was looking on the Ritz Camera website and it looks like 8x12 pictures cost about $3.99 each. I'm assuming a photo envelope costs around $1.50 and I have no idea how much shipping is. Anyways I'm changing my mailing address because I never get the mail from the P.O. box. You can send things to:

Danielle FTV
7631 N 20th St
Phoenix, AZ 85020

that way I actually get them. I've had a few people sending me P.M.'s asking me if I am okay. Let me assure you I am perfectly fine...thank you for the concern . If anything were to happen to me Rob would tell you within a day. If I'm not answering P.M.'s or haven't been on the board in awhile it's probably just because I'm hanging out with my friends or my internet connection isn't working (which happens 90% of the time.) Need to remember to call Cox and have them fix it before I actually move out of my place. Yet again one of my profiles got deleted. Facebook decided to delete the FTV Facebook page and Danielle FTV Facebook page I created. I'm through with putting so much of my freaking time and energy into creating these darn profiles and having them be deleted just because of some conservative a-hole. So far my Model Mayhem profile and both Facebook profiles have been deleted. Now I will be super pi$$ed off if Myspace deletes my Myspace page (not that they have any reason to.)

My 21st birthday is 17 days away...so excited. Right now my sister and I are both 20 years old...thankfully she's matured a little and doesn't use that against me when I tell her to do something (though she still does try to boss me around.) I will probably be attending EDC in LA in late June. Most likely I will only be going to the Friday concert (it's two days...Friday and Saturday) so Saturday will be free. If any of you are in the LA area and would like to meet me on Saturday, June 27th please contact me through P.M. and hopefully I will be able to meet some of my members/fans.

[danielle_ftv]

May 24, 2009
Five more days until my 21st birthday. It's so weird that I'm finally going to be legal....I mean I've been waiting for this for so freaking long. Now I can finally get rid of my friend's I.D. (though my friends still want me to use it until it get's taken away from me...for some reason they find that thought highly amusing). I think one of the biggest advantages to being 21 is that I can finally start to achieve those goals that I listed a few months back (winning awards, etc.) I've been thinking about it and really...I couldn't have done anything about those goals until now (or at least May 29th). You see to win any awards or become a Fleshlight Girl or get into magazines I need to get my name out there. But to do that I need to be able to attend the functions that everyone else is attending and my problem was (or is until my birthday) that all those functions normally include alcohol and so you have to be 21 to attend. I figure what I've been doing up until now has been good enough...but I am definitely going to kick up the self promotion and networking a few notches (well a lot of notches.) I've also been thinking about putting up 24/7 live cams in my apartment (maybe in the living room and my bedroom). I will probably end up doing a "test run" just to see how popular it is and what everyone's opinion of it is. BTW, my internet finally got fixed though it is still kind of screwy. I would like to do one of my webcam shows at my apartment but knowing my luck the internet would turn off on me right in the middle of me masturbating. I just bought a bunch of new toys...two of them were back ordered. Just got one of the back ordered toys yesterday and the other one should arrive sometime this week. I also bought my 4th of July shooting costume and a special toy for it. I also went a little overboard and bought my toys for my Thanksgiving shoot, Christmas shoot, and Easter shoot 2010. I need to do a candid video or video log showing you guys all my new toys. I also need to do a candid video showing you guys my new CHINCHILLAS! They are so freaking cute. I went all the way down past Tucson to a Chinchilla breeder to get them. They are brothers, named Gratch (from the Sword of Truth series) and Taquito (my sister came up with that one.) It's funny because my sister and mom always end up renaming my animals so I just ended up calling my sister to have her name them and she came up with Taquito for one of them (I guess she was eating Taquitos at the time) and a few other names for the other one (Rufus, Ottis, and other weird names that didn't strike me as "right".) Gratch is definitely the more adventurous of the two. I can't really tell them apart yet...I usually figure the first one that comes out to investigate has to be Gratch. Taquito is still getting used to me...he's kind of shy. I ended up doing a bunch of research on Chinchilla's and found out that the cage that the breeder made for them is way too small. So I ended up buying a 60 inch high cage (so 5 feet high). It's about 3 feet long and 2 1/2 feet "deep". So that should be plenty of jumping room for them. I also found out that everything in their cage should be non-plastic...so I'm having custom wooden shelving and houses built for them. I also have to buy them metal feeders for their pellets and hay. They seem to be doing okay right now but I really don't like them being in such a small cage. My family came over the other night after my birthday dinner (the first time they've ever seen my place...though I've lived here for over a year now.) My mom kept on bothering me to take the chinchilla's out but I read that you aren't supposed to take them out of the cage until they are completely tamed. Supposedly this is going to take a few weeks...but they both already take food out of my hands and Gratch has climbed onto my hand before (but I think he was just trying to get out of the cage.) This week is going to be pretty busy for me. I have to get my hair and nails done on Thursday (and I hate getting my nails done...they never do it exactly the way I want it done.) On Friday I'm getting waxed (yeah! what a great b-day present.) And either Thursday or Friday I need to go get Mystic tanned. Friday my friends are supposed to take me out...I guess they plan on getting me drunk, which honestly I'm not really looking foward to. Sunday we leave for Vegas. I'm so excited because I rented a limo to pick us up from the airport. They are supposed to have roses for all the ladies. I also got a two bedroom penthouse suite at the Bellagio with a connecting room (since there is supposed to be about 6 people going.) On Sunday we have a party bus (with stripper poles!) that's going to drive us around and drop us off at random bars/clubs. On Monday we are probably going to go see Anthony Cools, this hypnotist and I'm going to try to talk my friends into going up on stage with me to get hypnotised. I don't plan on gambling because personally I hate losing money and don't want to ruin my trip because we get kicked out of a casino for me throwing a hissy fit (though I'm sure my friends would find that highly amusing.)

BTW...I just want to apologize to everyone about not answering P.M.'s. I'm a procrastinator like crazy...and definitely need to fix that. I figure it would probably be easiest if I answer P.M.'s every other day and put it in my scheduler in my phone so it reminds me to do them. I really irritate myself sometimes when I put off stuff for so long. Not quiet sure why I do it, because in the end I always feel bad and lazy.

I'm taking these diet pills that are really...um...interesting. I've lost about 6 pounds in 10 days being on them. They do have some interesting side effects though. Like sometimes I feel slightly out of breath. You also lose your appetite like crazy and have to force yourself to eat. Your body temperature runs kind of high too. Also you get fairly jittery. My focus isn't spectular on it (though I can manage.) My mom kind of freaked out on me when I told her I was taking them. It's not like I plan on taking them for a super long time. I just want to lose 12-14 more pounds. I understand that I look great now...but I would really like to be at my goal weight. I just think I will feel a lot better about myself if I am. I figure by the end of 2009 I should be at my perfect body weight with great muscle tone, my tattoos should almost be completely faded and my teeth will be fixed. I would like to also get laser hair removal down there...but that would hurt like a biatch!

[danielle_ftv]

May 26, 2009
Hey guys...remember that whole e-Rotic Playboy tv show? Well I'm really interested in having them do a segment on my website but I need people to email and "suggest" it. I would be super appreciative if anyone could email Playboy TV and tell them about my site.

Here is the email address...

eRotic@PlayboyTV.com

[danielle_ftv]

May 27, 2009
How exciting!!! Tate Hemlock (FTVGirls photographer/videographer in training) just put up a new website. You guys should check it out. There are even some pictures from the Phoenix Forum 2009.

www.tatehemlock.com

6:06 PM
Damn I guess I "let the cat out of the bag" (I think that's what you guys say.) So I recently found out that I can squirt. I was having a little fun one night (well actually a lot of fun...went on for 3 hours) and for some reason got it into my head that I was going to squirt that night. Well I've researched squirting quiet a bit and watched Geezer's video that he sent "Nina Hartley's Guide to Female Ejaculation"....so I did exactly what they said and ended up squirting. I was kind of freaked out to tell you the truth (but uber excited) so I went in my bathroom and grabbed my "helping hand" toy and this other purple penis dildo and tried to squirt again. Ended up doing it two more times that night. Two nights after I tried it again...though with a video camera so that I could see exactly what was going on down there. Ended up squirting three times....did a smell test, taste test and color test (squirted in the white bathtub for the color test) and came to the conclusion that it really was me squirting. Tried it again the night after and was able to do it again...but for some reason got super paranoid that it was urine not squirt so ended up researching for about five hours. I came to find out that you squirt out of your "pee hole"...it can be different colors (including clear and light yellow...I guess it depends on how much you've squirted)...it's similar to a peeing feeling, and it can have a "pungent" odor. I guess that nobody's squirt liquid is exactly the same. Somebody may squirt completely clear liquid that has a slight odor and that doesn't come out as forcefully and somebody may have yellowish liquid that has no odor that gushes out. I realized that I can't really squirt without something in me...unlike Leslie who can start squirting then take out whatever object she is using and still be squirting. I still have yet to learn about my "squirt timing". My "forcefullness" differs. Like if I've been masturbating a lot I think it's fairly forcefull....but it really kind of differs from one squirt to the next.

I'm still trying to get comfortable with this. In a way this is almost like peeing and personally that is something that is...intimate in a way and not something that I do in front of people. So it may take me a little while to get used to the idea that I can squirt and to do it on camera (in front of Rob...OMG how weird!).