Jokes

dxhound2003 · 06-01-2009, 04:41 PM

Sorry guys. I'm very old and when I saw Why You's Important Message I was reminded of this one. I had sent it on my e mail to a friend and I retrieved it from there without remembering where I got it first.

I'm very tired and I have to lie down now.

DWM222 · 06-03-2009, 01:14 AM

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little
thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was
near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate.
Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She
told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my
life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I
stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my
entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:

"ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN YOUR CAR"

ugo · 06-03-2009, 02:28 PM

Jokes of nature.

mart · 06-06-2009, 02:57 PM

Great joke DWM222 and so true

I hope the middle pic isn't just a shot of your bum bending over Ugo!.

DWM222 · 06-06-2009, 03:11 PM

It started like this

Q:

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light
bulb?
Woman'sAnswer:
One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this f--k'n house knows HOW to change a f--k'n light bulb! They don't even know that the f--k'n bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE f--k'n DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the g/d light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!
But if they did, by some miracle of God,
actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the f--k'n chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME f--k'n SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO F--KER EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES
OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED
FROM THE F--K'N PILES OF GARBAGE THAT
ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE F--K'N HOUSE!!
IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES
THE F--K'N TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
I'm sorry.
What was the question?

(Some days start out bad...& then go into the crapper)

mart · 06-06-2009, 03:19 PM

I didn't know you knew my ex! DMW222!.

Oh DWM222, your supposed to post jokes not real life.

DWM222 · 06-06-2009, 03:23 PM

Yeah Mart...sometimes "Real Life" is a Joke

& we must have been married to the same woman LOL

06-03-2009, 01:14 AM	#2
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Got this from a friend I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." And the moral of this story is: "ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN YOUR CAR" __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

06-06-2009, 02:57 PM	#4
mart Danielle's Only True Love Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Garden of England, Kent Posts: 2,189	Great joke DWM222 and so true I hope the middle pic isn't just a shot of your bum bending over Ugo!. __________________ If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get

06-06-2009, 03:11 PM	#5
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Danger..Don't tell women w/PMS even simple jokes It started like this Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? Woman'sAnswer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this f--k'n house knows HOW to change a f--k'n light bulb! They don't even know that the f--k'n bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE f--k'n DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the g/d light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the f--k'n chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME f--k'n SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO F--KER EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE F--K'N PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE F--K'N HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE F--K'N TOILET PAPER ROLL !! I'm sorry. What was the question? (Some days start out bad...& then go into the crapper) __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

06-06-2009, 03:19 PM	#6
mart Danielle's Only True Love Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Garden of England, Kent Posts: 2,189	I didn't know you knew my ex! DMW222!. Oh DWM222, your supposed to post jokes not real life. __________________ If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get

06-06-2009, 03:23 PM	#7
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Yeah Mart...sometimes "Real Life" is a Joke & we must have been married to the same woman LOL __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

06-01-2009, 04:41 PM	#1
dxhound2003 Dreaming of Danielle Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 71	Sorry guys. I'm very old and when I saw Why You's Important Message I was reminded of this one. I had sent it on my e mail to a friend and I retrieved it from there without remembering where I got it first. I'm very tired and I have to lie down now.

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