Jokes

DWM222 · 10-17-2008, 12:50 AM

(This one is for Tigger)

A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!"

Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are...my...test...results...back?

MISSY · 10-17-2008, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWM222

(This one is for Tigger)

A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!"

Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are...my...test...results...back?

Tigger told me that one a while ago i think some one posted it on Alisons board.

DWM222 · 10-17-2008, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MISSY

Tigger told me that one a while ago i think some one posted it on Alisons board.

Knew I heard it somewhere...LOL..

DWM222 · 10-17-2008, 01:05 AM

The time has come for St. Peter's annual three-week vacation, and Jesus volunteers to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates.

"It's no big deal," St. Peter explains. "Sit at the registration desk, and ask each person a little about his or her life, then send them on to housekeeping to pick up their wings."

On the third day, Jesus looks up to see a bewildered old man standing in front of him.

"I'm a simple carpenter," says the man. "And once I had a son. He was born in a very special way, and was unlike anyone else in this world. He went through a great transformation even though he had holes in his hands and feet. He was taken from me a long time ago, but his spirit lives on forever. All over the world people tell his story."

By this time, Jesus is standing with his arms outstretched. There are tears in his eyes, and he embraces the old man.

"Father" he cries out, "Its been so long!"

The old man squints, stares for a moment, and says,

"Pinocchio?"

MISSY · 10-17-2008, 01:52 AM

What do you call a hooker that smokes dope?????????????????? a pot hoe!!!!!!

Texasdrake · 10-17-2008, 02:53 AM

(LOL) Missy that was a funny joke.

Texasdrake · 10-21-2008, 01:10 AM

A suspected jihadist was being grilled at Guantanamo Bay. "Honest officer," he said,"I'm not a suicide bomber!"
"We heard what you said," the officer replied.
"We've got you on tape."
"I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could have sex with 72 virgins,"
the suspect said. "All I said was I'm dying to get laid."

10-17-2008, 12:50 AM	#1
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Hospital Joke (This one is for Tigger) A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!" Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are...my...test...results...back? __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-17-2008, 01:05 AM	#4
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Here is another one I heard today The time has come for St. Peter's annual three-week vacation, and Jesus volunteers to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates. "It's no big deal," St. Peter explains. "Sit at the registration desk, and ask each person a little about his or her life, then send them on to housekeeping to pick up their wings." On the third day, Jesus looks up to see a bewildered old man standing in front of him. "I'm a simple carpenter," says the man. "And once I had a son. He was born in a very special way, and was unlike anyone else in this world. He went through a great transformation even though he had holes in his hands and feet. He was taken from me a long time ago, but his spirit lives on forever. All over the world people tell his story." By this time, Jesus is standing with his arms outstretched. There are tears in his eyes, and he embraces the old man. "Father" he cries out, "Its been so long!" The old man squints, stares for a moment, and says, "Pinocchio?" __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-17-2008, 02:53 AM	#6
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	(LOL) Missy that was a funny joke. __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-21-2008, 01:10 AM	#7
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	A suspected jihadist was being grilled at Guantanamo Bay. "Honest officer," he said,"I'm not a suicide bomber!" "We heard what you said," the officer replied. "We've got you on tape." "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could have sex with 72 virgins," the suspect said. "All I said was I'm dying to get laid." __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

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10-17-2008, 01:52 AM	#5
MISSY Danielle's Imaginary Girlfriend Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: VA. Posts: 598	What do you call a hooker that smokes dope?????????????????? a pot hoe!!!!!!