|
|
|
09-22-2008, 02:00 AM
|
#1 |
|
Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 604
 |
A girl at the bar asked me what I wanted most in a woman.
So I showed her. I just got bailed out twenty minutes ago. |
|
|
|
09-29-2008, 02:17 PM
|
#2 |
|
Lead Moderator (deceased)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Joplin, Missouri
Posts: 829
|
Something To Do When You're Retired
"Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumb ***. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Mary called him a **** head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age."
__________________
It's what's inside that counts the most |
|
|
|
|
09-29-2008, 06:33 PM
|
#3 |
|
Danielle's Only True Love
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Garden of England, Kent
Posts: 2,189
|
Love that one WhyYou. That's why i got all them tickets the other day lol.
__________________
If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get |
|
|
|
|
09-30-2008, 02:06 AM
|
#4 |
|
Danielle's Biggest Fan
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Ft.Worth,Tx
Posts: 399
|
I have to keep that in mind when I retire.
__________________
I didn't do it!!! The dog did. |
|
|
|
|
09-30-2008, 06:10 PM
|
#5 | |
|
Danielle's Only True Love
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Garden of England, Kent
Posts: 2,189
|
Quote:
__________________
If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get |
|
|
|
|
|
10-01-2008, 12:00 PM
|
#6 |
|
Lead Moderator (deceased)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Joplin, Missouri
Posts: 829
|
A man and his young daughter were walking around outside. The man
marveled at how smart his child was and how innocent her take on nature was. As he walked with her towards the park he turned and noticed she had stopped. He walked towards her, wondering what wonderful thing in nature had caught her eye. As he got closer he noticed she was watching two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" She asked. "Those spiders are mating, honey." "Well what is the spider on top called daddy?" The daughter continued to watch in amazement. "A daddy long legs." "Is the spider on the bottom called a mommy long legs?" The little girl asked. The father chuckled at her take on life and replied, "No sweety, that is also a daddy long legs." The daughter pauses a moment before smashing her foot on top of them. Bewildered her father asked, "Why did you do that?" The little girl replied, "We don't need any of that brokeback mountain **** going on here!"
__________________
It's what's inside that counts the most |
|
|
|
|
10-01-2008, 06:14 PM
|
#7 |
|
Danielle's Future Ex-Husband
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: out yonder way!
Posts: 1,093
|
Old man walked into the drug store and asked the drugest for 10 viagra pills cut into quorters. the drugest looked at him and said i can do that but you wont be gitting a full erection with just a quorter of the pill. Theold man said im 94 yrs old i dont need a full erection ,i just want to quit peeing on my slippers!!!!!!
__________________
IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING YOU BETTER BE RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!! |
|
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
