*** Danielle's Journal ***

[danielle_ftv]

Feb. 22, 2009
BAH....NEED TO GET LAID!!!! I finally caved and bought a 3-day membership to a cartoon porn site and have been masturbating furiously for the past hour now. I've gone looking for other sites...realized that I love goth girls and goth porn. I found a hot gothic/horror porn site that has this amazing hot chick that I really want to fool around with.

[danielle_ftv]

Feb. 24, 2009
I refuse to go to school anymore (jk). Somebody (not sure who out of the dozens of kid in my classes) got me sick. Today everyone was coughing and sneezing (oh wait...that would be me ) and making everyone else who isn't sick, sick. My friend called and told me she has been sick for the past five days now....blah, I guess I have at least another three days of being sick. I got invited to go bowling on Wenesday. I'm so pysched. That's going to be my second (or so) time hanging out with new friends from school. Plus I haven't bowled in forever. I'm sure they plan on drinking, but I will definitely not be drinking since I have school the next morning and that's always terrible having to do anything when you are hungover and sleep deprived. I'm going to Portland, Oregon next month for a photoshoot. That's my second ever out of state photoshoot (my first ever going by myself.) The photographer's really cool (he's the one that did Alison's Studio Colors, Total Hotness Sporty Style, Public Nudity in Portland 1 and 2, among several other.)

[danielle_ftv]

Mar. 4, 2009
So I finally caved and built a Facebook page. Personally I don't like either Myspace or Facebook but I guess it's a good way to "network"...though that would also require me to answer messages (which I don't.) You can find my Facebook by looking up Danielle FTV. I built two...one for FTVGirls and one just for me. And there is also a "Danielle Lover's" fan group on there. I need more friends, so request me people. Yesterday FTV Rob finally caved and let me borrow the GTR. It was so freaking cool! I got to pick up all my friends and they were super impressed (mission accomplished!). We ended up going to a movie and out to eat at The Yardhouse...sucks because I'm not 21 yet and so couldn't drink their awesome beer. We ended up seeing "He's Just Not That Into You" which was like really depressing since I am so like the character "Gigi" in that movie. When I fall for a guy I totally end up sitting around my phone, waiting for his phone call. I end up checking out their Facebook and Myspace profiles and read and look at everything that they put on it. I guess it's kind of stalkerish...but I've always had a "problem" of falling for guys way to quickly and really hard. It's nice though because that movie kind of made me feel a little more "normal"...like my whole Facebook stalking isn't so unusual. Anyhow I have my midterm exam for my forensic pathology class this weekend, my midterm for math next week, and midterm for my Geo lab tomorrow...boy am I freaking out right now. Also you should check out this interview with www.girlnextdoormag.com. I'm on the cover! Not sure why they didn't review my site though (they reviewed FTVGirls instead).

2:49 PM
Yeesssssssss....I just took my online forensic pathology midterm and got an A. So I am averaging an A- in the class right now...so happy.

[danielle_ftv]

Mar. 6, 2009
So just did my workout. I've been pretty good this week about working out...went all three days that I scheduled. Wednesday I ended up going bowling with friends from school. Wonder if that's going to become a weekly thing for me? Probably shouldn't have gone out bowling considering I had my mid-term in Geo lab, Thursday morning...but actually now that I think about it, it probably is a good thing, since I did not know at all that we had a test on Thursday. I really don't think I did as good as I should've....actually I think I probably failed the test. My teacher wasn't joking when she told us that the tests weren't going to be any easier than the first one...but she should've at least told us that they were going to be impossible . Most of the kids in my class also thought that the test was super hard. Looks like I will be taking the final (you can drop your lowest test grade and if you are okay with all your test grades then you don't have to do the final.) Anyways I should get the results back by Tuesday. Tonight my friends want me to hang out with them but honestly I really just want to stay in and read my book. I haven't really had any time to myself (and I have a butt load of P.M.'s to answer) and the last thing I want is to be hung over tomorrow. I finally caved and bought a television. It's a 37 inch Toshiba plasma tv. I also got a X-Box 360 and RockBand. Honestly though I'm kind of regretting buying all that...it cost over $1,200! I never knew tv's were so freaking expensive. I was tempted to take everything back, but I know at some point I will need to buy a tv...so I will probably end up keeping it. Now putting it all together is going to be a pain in the butt for sure.

My mom planned a get together tomorrow night for my sister and nephew. Unfortunately my mom also wants me to attend. There are two reasons why I don't really want to go A) it's near P.I.R. so an hour away from me and B) my sister and I aren't really on good terms right now. I ended up inviting my sister to eat with FTV Rob and a model he was shooting. Well anyways Rob started doing an interview with the model, asking the normal questions "when was your first orgasm", etc. Well for some reason my sister ended up flipping out and started ranting about "disrespect" and B.S. like that...in front of the model and my boss! I was so P.O.ed. I mean I understand that she wasn't comfortable, but that doesn't mean that she had to make a freaking scene in front of a bunch of people and make my boss and the model uncomfortable. Plus it's kind of disrespectful to me considering this is my job...getting naked in public, masturbation and talking about it. I thought she was okay with it....but not so much now. The funniest thing is she was talking about how they were "disrespecting" her child (my nephew was also there)...but hello he's 7 WEEKS OLD! As far as I know, no 7 week old child can understand English and when they see boobs they think "yummy...food." Plus I mean come on...it seems kind of hypocritical to me that she's 20 years old, got married to someone she knew for only a few months, and is now a mother. Not only that but she's definitely done some unsavory thing in the past that would make porn look like bible school (wonder if that made any sense.) I just absolutely hate people like that...that can do some of the worst things and then think porn and the people who are willing in it are disgusting. So yeah...that's why I really don't want to hang out with my sister. I'm sure we will make it up...but she really needs to A) become less socially retarded B) realize there are right times and wrong times to express your opinions and C) realize that people aren't always going to do stuff that you agree with...and you should be okay with that.

[danielle_ftv]

Mar. 14, 2009
So it seems like I'm finally getting into a semi-routine...though I still need to work on my time management. Wenesday I ended up going bowling again with my friends after my workout (though I didn't bowl, just ate some cheesy nachos!) I failed my Geology mid-term miserably. Ended up getting a 44% FREAKING TERRIBLE! I've never gotten a 44% on anything. The messed up thing is that the class average was a 53%. The teacher was P.O.ed and gave us the "smack down". She told us that, that was the lowest class average in the seven years she's been teaching. Good thing that we can at least drop our lowest test score. But I will be studying hardcore for the next two tests. I also ended up missing my belly dancing class on Wenesday because I was so freaking tired. Later found out that, that was the ONE class that I didn't want to miss since we were going over the mid-term dance material. So hopefully my friends will help me study what they went over that day. Mid-terms for my Geology lab is after Spring Break...which sucks because I'm pretty much going to veg out for the next week and studying during break is not my idea of fun. Talking about Spring Break it actually looks like I will be doing something. My friends and I are going on a trip to Rocky Point, Mexico. I'm pretty excited since this will be my first time ever going somewhere/doing something for Spring Break. My friends were kind of freaking out though because I guess parts of Mexico are having problems with drug cartels, kidnapping, etc. But what they didn't seem to realize is that the way the media is talking about it makes it seem like ALL of Mexico is having these issues which is not the case. So anyways I'm going to have fun, and hopefully the internet access will be fast enough so I can update the site. I ended up going out last night. Funny thing is, I can always tell when I'm going to have issues getting into a club...kind of like a sixth sense. Anyhow, so my friends and I ended up going to our usual club (the one I've been to at least eight times.) And for the first time at this club I got questioned hardcore about my I.D. What's your last name? How do you spell it? How old are you? When's you birthday? etc. I'm surprised I wasn't asked what my astrological symbol was (which I do know, along with the condo I "live in", and what's around the condo ....talk about paranoia.) But anyways I was let in at the end (thank gawd.) Didn't really end up drinking, just had one gin and tonic. The music sucked, so a friend and I bailed out and ended up getting some greasy pizza at this pizza joint next door. They must make GREAT money with all the drunk kids coming in after hours. Honestly I just can't wait until I turn 21. Two more months. Nobody tells you that the last 2 months are complete hell! My friends and I are talking about going to Vegas the first week of June. So excited!

P.S. You know what I don't get??? Single site girls that have journals and always have to mention something sexual in their entries (ie "we were driving down to such and such and all of a sudden I got the urge to blow him in the car.") Like whatever foo girls. Is that how you talk to your friends? Puh-lease. I don't understand why these girls can't keep it real.

[danielle_ftv]

Mar. 20, 2009
So I'm back from Rocky Point. It was awesome...definitely a great place to go for your first Spring Break. There wasn't as many people vacationing there as I thought there was going to be. I was talking to a few people who regularly go there and they were commenting on that and saying it's really due to the media hype about Mexico being unsafe (which BTW is complete BS for Rocky Point...I actually felt quiet safe there.) Our hotel was super nice...especially for the price I was paying. The first night we didn't really do anything, just hung around the hotel and drank. We ended up going to this bar called Baja Cantina. I guess it was the "happening hot spot" there. I've never seen so many girls getting naked! I'm not going to lie...I was also right up there in the VIP with them flashing my boobs around. But I'm pretty used to nudity, so it's not unusual for me. What was funny was that later on I was talking to some of my male friends about me flashing myself. They were telling me that if their girlfriends were to do the same thing they would be upset. It definitely got me to thinking though, because I'm so used to nudity and have been even before I started in this industry. It always confuses me when people get upset by it...but then I have to realize that not everybody thinks the way I do. It was also funny thinking about how okay I am with nudity when it's on my own "terms" rather than when I'm shooting. I get really nervous sometimes when I'm doing public nudity shoots, but get me in front of a bunch of people and I will normally take off my clothes (and without any alcohol in me.) Gawd that probably made me sound really slutty (which I'm not) I just find it completely ridiculous how people can be all Godly and prude, but when they start drinking or go somewhere for vacation they "slut it up" and sleep with a dozen different people, and do other crazy things like that. I just don't get it. But anyways...didn't really do anything for St. Patty's day. Just hung out around the beach and drank beers all day (BTW I'm swearing off drinking again...or at least until this weekend.) The drive back to Arizona was complete hell. We ended up waiting for THREE HOURS at the border. And they really need to make a better system because what ended up happening was that the police split the one line into two lines (by this point we had been waiting for about 45 minutes while everyone else who was zooming by us for the second line had just got there.) Well anyways the line merges further down...so all those people who just got there were able to get through the border within 30 minutes to an hour while we were stuck behind them for three hours. I was so freaking p!ssed off...plus I almost ran out of gas and was just able to cross the border and get gas before my car died on me (thank gawd...that would have been embarassing.) But other than that it was a fun trip for sure. My friends and I are thinking about doing a Vegas trip right after my 21st birthday...that should be pretty exciting! I don't have that much longer to wait. Next month is the Phoenix Forum (April 2nd to the 4th)...I'm super pysched about it. Unfortunately Rob is supposed to be gone for his Bugatti trip at that same time so I won't be able to get any professional video/photo updates there. Next week I have two more mid-term tests...which by the way I think is completely screwed up. I mean why couldn't they schedule it for before Spring Break...who wants to study during their Spring Break? April is going to be a sucky month for me. Not only do I have taxes that are due, but my car insurance is due and I have to renew my car registration. I already did the car registration and got a personalized license plate!

[danielle_ftv]

Mar. 25, 2009
So I did it! I finally talked to my mom about what I do for a living. Funny thing is she already knew (found out about a week ago.) I guess she was just waiting for me to tell her about it. I guess that my step father to be was looking up Rob's cars and found out about the whole "219" thing, which lead to him finding out about FTV, where he found me. I'm pretty surprised that my sister didn't tell my mom (which I honestly thought she was going to do.) It's cool though because now I feel like me and my sis have more trust for each other. Anyways so the whole reason that the site was brought up was because my mom and I were talking about the "familial nudity fiasco" and I was explaining to my mom that I would be super uncomfortable if she ever saw nude pictures of me. Well she straight out told me that she already had and that got me to thinking...where? Because my modeling portfolio has an option that I always turn on that doesn't show the nude pictures (anything 18+) to non-members. Well I'm at least glad that it's out in the open now. I just wanted to wait until things calmed down a little. Especially since my brother in law got into town and is staying with my mom until April 5 or so and then my little brother is supposed to be coming down from DC at the beginning of April too. So I know my mom is pretty stressed out and the last thing I want is for her to get even more stressed out about this. My mom took everything pretty calmly. I explained to her how this job has changed me, and how for the first time in my life I am truly happy. I'm finally in control of my life...I'm going to school, have an amazing job, get to talk to people that really like me, am finally going to school and actually know what I want to do this time. And on top of that I actually have friends! And they invite me places! I'm not going to lie...my mom was upset. She ended up crying at the end of our conversation, but I don't think it was really the job that upset her I think it's just the fact that for the first time in both of our lives I'm starting to drift away from her. I'm going to make it a priority to call her at least twice a week just to chat and to visit her at least once a week for lunch or dinner. I never meant to drift away from her...I guess things just got in the way. I wonder what my mom's fiance thinks about my job? Now I'm going to be super uncomfortable around him...how freaking awkward!

I'm pretty happy about my grades so far. I thought I was going to be failing my Geology lecture course since I failed that one test miserably. But I guess I'm actually making a B- in it...which is awesome since I am planning on doing as much extra credit as possible which can raise my grade up by one letter. I am also making an A- in my Forensic Pathology class, math, and my Geology lab class. I'm not really sure what I'm making in my belly dancing class though. I'm probably not doing that well since I'm missed four classes which lowers my grade to like a C or something like that. But fortunately I can make up two of the classes which will raise up my score.