Jokes

WhyYou · 05-30-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geolarson2

I'm not 100% sure this is the thread for this, but it got a laugh out of me, so what the hey.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article....&in_page_id=34

Not a typical type of joke, but funny none the less!

mart · 05-30-2009, 08:40 PM

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.
A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car

Where do you get virgin wool from?
An Ugly sheep.

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's a hindu?
Lays eggs

captnjack · 05-30-2009, 09:19 PM

Pretty good Mart! I wonder what the capital of South Carolina would be. SC maybe?

MISSY · 05-31-2009, 12:49 AM

Do you know why cow's are upset? Well you would be too if the farmer got you up at 5am and stroked your **** for two hours and then left and you didn't get laid!!!!!!

mart · 05-31-2009, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captnjack

Pretty good Mart! I wonder what the capital of South Carolina would be. SC maybe?

And the capital of England is of cause "E".

MISSY! that's another great joke, keep em coming.

WhyYou · 06-01-2009, 06:09 AM

I got this in an email....

IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD
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Aww CRAP...Now I forgot what I was going to tell you!

tigger · 06-01-2009, 09:32 AM

Yep been there!

dxhound2003 · 06-01-2009, 01:22 PM

Exercise

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> >I can do this twice.
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> >> DON'T OVER DO IT
> >>
> >> The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into
> >> our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health
> >> and maintain muscle mass.
> >>
> >> If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more
> >> repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina. Warning: It
> >> may be too strenuous for some.
> >>
> >>
> >> Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> SCROLL DOWN.............
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> >> NOW SCROLL UP..
> >>
> >> That's enough for the first day. Great job.
> >>
> >> Have a pint.
__________________
It's what's inside that counts the most

05-30-2009, 08:40 PM	#2
mart Danielle's Only True Love Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Garden of England, Kent Posts: 2,189	A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them. A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'. Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him. What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car Where do you get virgin wool from? An Ugly sheep. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste! What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What's a hindu? Lays eggs __________________ If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get

05-30-2009, 09:19 PM	#3
captnjack Danielle's Imaginary Boyfriend Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: 3rd rock from the sun Posts: 818	Pretty good Mart! I wonder what the capital of South Carolina would be. SC maybe? __________________ But in your dreams whatever they may be Dream a little dream of me

06-01-2009, 06:09 AM	#6
WhyYou Lead Moderator (deceased) Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Joplin, Missouri Posts: 829	I got this in an email.... IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD * * * * (scroll down) * * * * * * * * * * (keep scrolling) * * * * * * * * * * (more scrolling) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Aww CRAP...Now I forgot what I was going to tell you! __________________ It's what's inside that counts the most

06-01-2009, 09:32 AM	#7
tigger Danielle's Future Ex-Husband Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: out yonder way! Posts: 1,093	Yep been there! __________________ IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING YOU BETTER BE RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!

05-31-2009, 12:49 AM	#4
MISSY Danielle's Imaginary Girlfriend Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: VA. Posts: 598	Do you know why cow's are upset? Well you would be too if the farmer got you up at 5am and stroked your **** for two hours and then left and you didn't get laid!!!!!!

06-01-2009, 01:22 PM	#8
dxhound2003 Dreaming of Danielle Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 71	Exercise -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >I can do this twice. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> DON'T OVER DO IT > >> > >> The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into > >> our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health > >> and maintain muscle mass. > >> > >> If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more > >> repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina. Warning: It > >> may be too strenuous for some. > >> > >> > >> Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! > >> > >> > >> > >> SCROLL DOWN............. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> NOW SCROLL UP.. > >> > >> That's enough for the first day. Great job. > >> > >> Have a pint. __________________ It's what's inside that counts the most