Jokes

[tigger]

Seams some one was a little pissed at Santa.

[mart]

Originally Posted by tigger

Seams some one was a little pissed at Santa.

LMAO big time!.

[Texasdrake]

Originally Posted by tigger

Seams some one was a little pissed at Santa.

Be funny if the following year he gotten more and better presents and he end up getting the idea you can get better stuff just being a little prick

[tigger]

Do you know why the chef was arrested??????????? He was caught beating an egg!!!!! (Amandas joke)

[mart]

Originally Posted by tigger

Do you know why the chef was arrested??????????? He was caught beating an egg!!!!! (Amandas joke)

Nearly as bad as these!.

What happens if a dog stays in the sun too long?.
It turns into a hotdog.

Where do pigs keep their savings?.
In the piggybank of cause.

Where do fish keep their savings?.
In the riverbank of cause.

Why did the cow eat a chocolate bar?
Because he wanted to have chocolate milk.

Why was the cow afraid?.
Because he was a cow-ard.

Where do cows go on vacation?.
Cow-lifornia.

I'll stop here, it's getting embarrassing.

[tigger]

Old lady was cruzing down the hall at the nursing home and she saw Laranger siting in a chair and she walks in fromt of him lifts her dress and says supersex. Laranger was quiet for a min. and said ill have the soup!

[WhyYou]

Got this in my email today....

Out Of Order Sign
A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer while trying to remove a jammed piece of paper. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate. Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to...scroll down and see.....

[Padawan]

Just a heads up. This is joke is not intended to be insulting in any way. It's just a little joke, a humor that this Finn likes.

...and God Created Finland.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made". Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large landmass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Finland, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, and rolling hills. The people from Finland are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting next to them in Sweden and Russia."