Anything under the sun!

STAR · 08-16-2011, 02:26 AM

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

***

A gentleman of advanced years goes into a pickup bar and spots a lovely silver-haired woman seated at the bar.

He takes the empty stool next to her and orders a drink.

He turns to the woman and smoothly asks, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

***

A very old lady in a nursing home suddenly burst into the room. Holding out her tightly clinched fist, she exclaimed, "If anybody can tell me what I have in my hand, they can have sex with me."

One old guy called out, "An elephant?"

She winked at him and said, "Close enough."

***

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

***

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

***

****

Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

****

Women are like telephones. They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and you get disconnected.

08-16-2011, 02:26 AM	#27
STAR Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Tucson, between the forceps and the stone. Posts: 336	During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. * A gentleman of advanced years goes into a pickup bar and spots a lovely silver-haired woman seated at the bar. He takes the empty stool next to her and orders a drink. He turns to the woman and smoothly asks, "So tell me, do I come here often?" * A very old lady in a nursing home suddenly burst into the room. Holding out her tightly clinched fist, she exclaimed, "If anybody can tell me what I have in my hand, they can have sex with me." One old guy called out, "An elephant?" She winked at him and said, "Close enough." * Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?" * A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. * Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. ** Women are like telephones. They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and you get disconnected. __________________ If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. Last edited by STAR; 08-16-2011 at 02:41 AM.