Jokes

DWM222 · 01-08-2009, 01:00 AM

Little old lady goes into a sex toy shop........

She looks around for a while, and finally walks up to the large wall display.
The clerk comes over to help, and she says 'I'd like to purchase that large red vibrator over there on the right'.

Clerk says 'I'm sorry, but you will have to select another item, I can't sell you that'.

She says 'Why not...its the one I want'.

Clerk says 'That is our fire extinguisher'

WhyYou · 01-12-2009, 07:12 PM

Here's an interesting sentence:

Did I like nut another to it send do to better anything have doesn't that person a like this reading time sweet your took you since.

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Now read it backwards

mart · 01-17-2009, 09:34 AM

.one funny a that's WhyYou one Nice

Geezer · 01-18-2009, 04:52 PM

Two Woodpeckers..........

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

Geezer · 01-23-2009, 02:51 AM

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

"Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

01-08-2009, 01:00 AM	#1
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Sex Toys Little old lady goes into a sex toy shop........ She looks around for a while, and finally walks up to the large wall display. The clerk comes over to help, and she says 'I'd like to purchase that large red vibrator over there on the right'. Clerk says 'I'm sorry, but you will have to select another item, I can't sell you that'. She says 'Why not...its the one I want'. Clerk says 'That is our fire extinguisher' __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

01-12-2009, 07:12 PM	#2
WhyYou Lead Moderator (deceased) Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Joplin, Missouri Posts: 829	Here's an interesting sentence: Did I like nut another to it send do to better anything have doesn't that person a like this reading time sweet your took you since. Scroll down Scroll down Scroll down Scroll down Now read it backwards __________________ It's what's inside that counts the most

01-17-2009, 09:34 AM	#3
mart Danielle's Only True Love Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Garden of England, Kent Posts: 2,189	.one funny a that's WhyYou one Nice __________________ If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get

01-18-2009, 04:52 PM	#4
Geezer Danielle's Imaginary Boyfriend Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 895	Two Woodpeckers.......... Two Woodpeckers.......... A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed. The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat. Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

01-23-2009, 02:51 AM	#5
Geezer Danielle's Imaginary Boyfriend Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 895	I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."